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ðÿžµ (cues: invader - jim johnston) boomstick: mystical ninjas, evil sorcerers, gods, tournaments these days seem to attract all sorts, don't they. wiz: and yet there's always a few seemingly ordinary people brave enough, or stupid enough, to step into the ring. boomstick: like cammy white, street fighter's ass-sassin turned british secret agent. wiz: and sonya blade, the special forces general of mortal kombat. boomstick: he's wiz and i'm boomstick. wiz: and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor & skills to find out who would win... a death battle. for most of her life, cammy white was a pawn of the evil shadaloo cryme syndicate, run by the wannabe dictator; m. bison.

boomstick: i don't know about pawn, she was just top bodyguard, so basically a lot more important. maybe more like one of those horsey pieces. wiz: like...a knight? boomstick: no wiz, the horse that moves like an l. c'mon learn your chess, you're supposed to be smart! wiz: ugh...not only was she bison's top bodyguard, but also the leader of his dolls, a group of brainwashed teenage girls trained to be ruthless, unstoppable assassins. boomstick: what happens if all their cycles sync? wiz: her leadership roles come not just from her skills as a killer, but also because she just so happens to be a female clone of bison himself. boomstick: how does that happen?

wiz: it gets weirder. aware his psycho power was deteriorating his current body, bison planned to posses hers. boomstick: i...have a lot of questions. wiz: cammy served bison blindly until she met the mystical yogi, dhalsim, who used his power to grant her something she never had: willpower and self-awareness. boomstick: realizing that bison is actually...the bad guy, cammy joined the delta red british special forces and the fight against shadaloo. wiz: with her training from both camps, cammy is deadly up-close with ruthless sweeping attacks, keeping her foes on the defensive. boomstick: she can rush like a drill with spiral arrow, a move so agile it passes under projectiles. her hooligan approach flips through the air like some sort of deranged spidermonkey to lay the smackdown in a ton of ways. like the fatal leg twister, which is...fatal.

wiz: she also uses her cannon spike and cannon strike to control the flow of battle. boomstick: and like most cannons, cammy's signature attacks, have higher caliber versions. wiz: well, being a clone of bison, she does have latent psycho power abilities, a dark energy fueled by evil and hatred. boomstick: sure, but i was talking about her ex and super moves. wiz: oh, of course, like the deadly cross stinger assault, or the cammy quick combination. boomstick: get it? cqc! wiz: with which she snaps her opponents bones not once, not twice, but three times. boomstick: she's also an expert knife thrower, agile enough to dodge bullets, and for a 134 pound secret agent barbie, is pretty damn strong!

i mean, she can kick cars to death, and stood up after falling out of an airplane. wiz: she survived blows from the world class boxer, balrog, a fighter so strong, he once killed an elephant with a single punch. elephants are known to frequently smash down trees with their skulls, which means they can withstand a force of over 10,000 pounds. boomstick: that's like getting hit in the face with a truck! wiz: unfortunately, despite being a clone of one of the deadliest people on the planet. cammy isn't a perfect warrior, her control of psycho power in particular, is extremely limited, at best, usually only manifesting during times of extreme rage, and many of her moves can leave her vulnerable if misfired. boomstick: still, i'd think twice before picking a street fight with cammy white, she's got legs and she knows how to use them, and damn, what an ass! wiz: ah! boomstick: i know, i know, take your five dollars, still worth it.

wiz: told you you couldn't go the whole script without mentioning it. boomstick: wiz, if i could die and come back, it would be as that leotard. cammy: you can skip the trip down memory lane. tell me who you want me to kill. wiz: as a young girl, sonya blade idolized her marine father and enlisted to follow in his footsteps. by the age of 26, she was a member of a u.s. special forces unit in pursuit of the criminal, kano. boomstick: which ended up being a lot more trouble than she expected when she found herself in a tournament fighting gods, demons and monsters, all while movie star, johnny cage tried to get in her pants. wiz: this was mortal kombat, a tournament decreed by elder gods where a realm, or alternate dimension, may challenge another realm for world conquering rights. sonya joined the defenders of earthrealm to stop the evil shao kahn's world domination, and succeeded.

boomstick: buuuuut, most of them died, except for sonya and johnny, of course, who married and had a kid. lucky johnny, i'd love to settle down with a lady that has such an impressive resume in kickin' ass. wiz: sonya has decades of combat experience that's prepared her for pretty much anything. she's fought cyborgs, ninjas, cyborg ninjas... her kenpo and tae kwon do training emphasizes speed, agility and defense, and she shows her mastery by leaping into the air, grabbing foes with her legs, and slamming them down in a backflip faster than the blink of an eye. boomstick: she's got kali sticks, a wind blade, frag grenades, smoke grenades, stun grenades, and a garrote wire for silent kills. but my favorite is her high-tech bracelet, which lets her hover in the air...and shoots lasers! wiz: it even controls a remote drone, complete with a cutting beam, perfect camouflaging systems, machine guns, even rpg's. boomstick: i think i'm in love...

wiz: with what, the drone? sonya? boomstick: drone-ya. wiz: uh huh...i'd think twice about that though, most guys wouldn't dare lock lips with the woman who has moves like fire kiss, crush kiss, slice kiss, poison kiss, or the kiss of death. boomstick: yeah, plus she's strong enough to rip a guy in half with just her legs, and i don't know if i wanna be in between that. wiz: in the early 1800's, it was common practice to tie criminals between horses, which pulled them apart, except, even four horses playing tug of war don't often have the strength to rip people in half, yet sonya can do so with ease. boomstick: impressive, almost as impressive as karate chopping a steel anvil in half! wiz; it's as ridiculous as it looks. assuming the anvil is made of common steel, it would take over 90,000 pounds per square inch of force to break. to compare, 1969 boxing champion, earnie shavers delivered the strongest punch in boxing history at 1600 psi, meaning sonya's punch has over fifty six times more power than the hardest hitting boxer ever known.

boomstick: no wonder she was strong enough to take down scorpion, sub-zero, jax, and even quan chi, ruler of the netherrealm, back to back! wiz; of course, throughout decades of military experience, she has made plenty of mistakes. her short fuse has gotten herself and her troops in trouble more than once, and while her tech and weaponry lets her keep up with otherworldy warriors, a smart opponent can use her overreliance on gadgets against her. boomstick: still, there's something pretty special about a lady who can rip a guy in half without breaking a sweat. stryker: we need a strategic plan of attack. sonya: i got one, combat time! wiz: all right the combatants are set. let's end this debate once and for all! boomstick: it's time for a death batleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! cammy: suspect in custody.

who are you? you amateur! what organization do you work for? sonya: let's call it enhanced training. cammy: get in my way and pay the price! sonya: spoiler alert: you lose. from my foot to your ass. announcer: fight! cammy: spiral arrow! here's a present for you! sonya: get with the program, kiddo.

cammy: i won't lose! damn! aahh!! aaahh!!! sonya: not as tough as you look. mortal kombat announcer: finish her!! sonya: i've got this son of a bitch. cammy: noooooooooooo!!! sonya: always gotta be the hard way.

announcer: ko boomstick: fatality! wiz: cammy might've had an edge in speed and agility, but sonya's far superior strength, arsenal, tactics, and experience overwhelmed her. boomstick: sonya's fought opponents who have led armies and conquered worlds, and taken em on back to back! sure cammy's done the same, just not against quite an impressive line up. wiz: sonya has about ten years of military experience over cammy, and it's not like she was pushing papers all that time. when she wasn't chasing down war criminals on their own, she was a longtime leader against multiple inter dimensional invasions. cammy did a lot with delta red, but nothing which stacks up to sonya's resume. boomstick: and hey, cammy's durability of an elephant is impressive.

but you know what's tougher than that? solid steel. wiz: true, and while cammy was adept at dodging projectiles, she couldn't keep it up with sonya's large arsenal, attacking from multiple angles at once. boomstick: looks like cammy's only half the woman sonya is. wiz: the winner is sonya blade. boomstick: next time onnnn death battle! boy: so which one is your favorite? mine's fusionator. no no no no tracer, yeah tracer. tracer: don't worry loves. cavalry is here. ben: hey guys i'm ben i play wiz.

chad: i'm chad i play boomstick. ben: and next time we got tracer from overwatch. but who is she gonna be fighting? you can find out by sticking to our instagram that's officialscrewattack. and we'll be announcing her opponent very soon. chad: that's right. and you can watch all of our videos early plus get discounts on merch by becoming a first member. it's a great way to support the show, just click in the link in the description below and start a free trial. ben: and for now you can watch our other show "desk of death battle" we got an episode right now, it's all about deadpool vs. thanos. chad: in the battlefield of love. ben: thanks for watching guys.