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no man's sky?? more like... no guy buy e he he he heee ever since minecraft erupted in popularity... every shitbox developer has been trying to put their own twist on it. you've got minecraft with dinosaurs,
minecraft with crabs, minecraft with rocks. most of them suck complete dick, but some of them actually do push the concept further. with no man's sky, i was expecting that... next big leap! except...
it fuckin' leaped backwards. waaay the fuck back. like wh - what happened!? it starts off really strong. you're standin' there, next to your broken spaceship... and what you do next is completely up to you. it's magic, for real. it's magic.
those first two hours were just amazing... i was completely entranced by the world and the music and the creatures but as you sink your teeth into the game... you realize it's a lot of flash, and barely any substance. "can i teleport back to my ship?" "no." "can you collect plants in this game?"
"will you be able to play with your friends?" the developers have been selling this game on its enormous sense of scale and variety. there's something, like, 400 gafillion planets to discover. now, remember back in my banjo video, where i talked about how smaller maps are more exciting to explore because all of the interesting stuff is more concentrated? well, with this game, they have gone ahead and achieved the complete polar opposite of that. i've explored around 30 planets at this point... and they all play out exactly the same you find little buildings...
you mine materials... run out of inventory space... sell your shit... and then you do it again. that's it. the game loses that ability to surprise you way too early and you're left with this empty feeling of disappointment of how unfinished it all feels. the big problem is that all of the variety is occurring on the very surface level of the game.
the planets are different colors, sometimes you find a goofy procedurally generated animal, but the gameplay never evolves beyond walking and mining. "can i build shelters?" "um, no." "can you ride a dinosaur?" "no, you can't." "will the game be fun?" "uh... no."
after multiple delays, enormous hype, and a full $60 price tag no man's sky can't help but feel underwhelming. it feels like an extended tech demo instead of a fully realized game. i've only been playin' since tuesday, and already, the repetition, crashing, obnoxious glitches, and vast stretches of blank nothingness have almost completely eroded my enthusiasm for this game. i give paper mario: the thousand year door a four out of five. just a solid rpg.
more dumbee and i give no man's sky... a two out of five. what a piece of sh -
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