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hello everybody, my name is markiplier and welcome back to will you press the button. now, i was gonna mix things up, and there's a setting, in the settings menu that allows you to see the unapproved questions. and there's like 7,000 approved questions, to 350,000 unapproved questions. so i was in my mind, i was like, "how bad could it be? they're- they're probably cool! at least some interesting-" they're bad.
oh god, they're bad. i'll show you. they're bad. they're horrible. not only grammatically, but situationally. like this: "you can watch any anime you want at any time in hd right when it comes out," "it will all be dubbed like old japane-" well this isn't- okay. this one's totally fine. this- this one's 100% fine. this is a bad example.
i must've just come across a few- uh, well. okay. maybe it's okay. i th- i got into ve- there was some heavily racist stuff and i got like a string of it. so... *while laughing* i guess i can try this... we'll see how it goes, and then, i'll just cut out the bad ones. okay?! alright, cool. "you become the greatest sportsman alive, but no one will ever cheer for you in your events."
so you can score the greatest goals in soccer, and the whole stadium will just be dead silent. or will they boo you? because there's a big difference. but i guess rolling around in all the money you get from being the greatest sportsman would be good enough for not having people cheer for you. okay, i'll press it. why not? "you can become invisible at any time, but you have to be naked to do so." yeah, see, this doesn't seem so bad. because i'm naked, like 90% of my day anyway, so what does it matter if i just get naked in my house,
go out, unless there's like some condition where you have to hold your breath, but maybe that's not that. or maybe i just walk around with a trenchcoat at all times and just, flash people in the nude and then run around town. this got weird, nevermind. i'll press it. screw it. i like- i like being naked. "you get everything you want for free, but you lose a family member for everything you get."
now this is bad. what if i want a chipotle burrito... and my brother has to die? that seems like a bad trade off, you gotta like go for something big. like, i want the moon! but then what does that mean, that you own the moon? i guess you cou- you co- ca-can you encapsulate the entirety of the earth, ownership of it completely, or do you have to get things individually, like on a small level?
cause that doesn't seem very good. i will not. maybe... i don't know. "sono chi no sadame... but jojo." *laughing* i don't know why that one's really funny to me. i don't know what it means, but just the idea of whatever the hell the first one is
but, jojoooooooooo! alright, i'll press it. whatever the hell that means. tell me what i did. *laughs* "you can heal and take away pain from anybody else, not from you, but you have to feel all the pain when you take it away." well, okay. that seems like an interesting power,
considering that you can heal them, but does that mean you bear the pain permanently? or just bear the pain temporarily, because that's a big thing. if you just run around healing people, but the more people you heal, the more incredible this pain becomes, that's like a horrifying dilemma. you can heal people, like incredible wounds can be healed instantly, but you have to bear that pain for the rest of your life,
and you reach a critical moment where you've taken away so much pain, that suddenly you can't take it anymore. and you just die from the pa- i have no idea- that would be... that would be such a weird sacrifice. i'll do it! "you have the ability to fly, but you can no longer walk or swim." well that seems okay! i always just go everywhere, hovering a little bit off the ground.
down at the grocery store, pushing my cart of goodies, hovering a few inches off the ground. i don't see a trade off! depends on how fast i can fly. god, if i can only fly at a walking speed, that'd be terrible. but i think i'll be okay! i-i'll take that, that sounds pretty good. "you are invincible, but you must sacrifice one person every day." holy crap!
that's a lot of commitment to have. do they have to submit themselves to me? or do i have a cult that's bringing them in? am i the leader of some dark group? oh, man. is it the sacrifice that actually makes me invincible? i dunno. when i don't sacrifice someone one day, and then get the next, am i okay? uh, i dunno!
yea sure, why not. i blew up all of detroit. i always have to remember that i put that in perspective. i blew up detroit for a piece of cake. i think i'm okay. "you have a vip pass to every concert, movie, and event, free entrance, no line, but after it- after you use it each time,you can't have sex for a month." well, how is that any different from my normal life? i'll press it!
it- *very incomprehensible mark sounds while laughing* "you can breathe underwater, but you can never get dry again." wow. that has so many ulterior meanings. write in the comments the different ways that could be interpreted! bonus points for the dirtier it is! now i just know everyone's gonna be confused. if they look at the comments before the video's actually, like they've gone through the video,
they're going to be very confused to why everyone's writing such dirty things. yeah, i'll press it! fine, okay. just alw- i'll- i'll just be 'moist man,' walking through the world, just slightly moist. "you can go into any fictional world you want, movie, show, book, etc., but your favorite character hates you, and there is no way of changing it." well you know what, fuck that guy! fuck you harry potter, i'm gonna hang out with...
ron... weasley... oh god, but what- oh tha- that changes things. what if, when you go in there, your favorite character hates you, so then you start to like another character, and then you'll know when they become your favorite character because suddenly they'll hate you! and you have to shift back and forth. i guess you'd meet so many people...
yeah, i'll press it. screw it. why not. "you're very wealthy, but you can only use the money on others and never yourself, unless it's steak and water." that is an odd exclusion there. why just steak? and why just watter? watter's kinda free... in most parts of the world.. i mean, i guess i wouldn't be too upset about that.
i could make sure that other people were... well off. sure, yeah, why not! you know what, i like steak. "you can make any person fall in love with you, but that person will die in 5 years." okay. now here's the thing. what if, you make all of the horrible, horrible people of the world *laughing* fall in love with you, and then they'll die. cause you don't have to be in love with them,
but if you make- *cough* like, all of th- the worst people of the world, like all the horrible dictators and all the terrorists and all that stuff, you know, they'd fall in love with you. and then, you know, they'll be happy and in love, and then five years later they just die. maybe? that'd be a weird superpower. i'll take it. "you become the most famous, rich, and powerful person on the planet,
but you must marry the person you hate most on this planet, regardless of gender." well... i don't really hate anyone... and just because i'm married doesn't mean that i have to do a whole lot. i mean if the standards of marriage these days is anything to go by. i gueeuuoouesss [guess]? suuuuuuurre? okay?
you know i'm okay, i-i'll do that yeah... "you become a master 3d modeler, but they can never be made in the real world by 3d printer or otherwise, and must not violate copyright." well that seems totally fine, because for most 3d modelers, they're working in games and movies and such? and they don't need to be in the wor- real world? so, i think that's actually okay, i just learn a really good skill. "you can read the opposite sex mind, *laughs*
but people of the same sex can hear your thoughts." now that, is a fascinating dilemma. so it's kind of like a 'what women want' situation where he can hear all women's thoughts. but all the guys, can hear my thoughts loud and clear. and i think that'd be okay. because, i don't speak for all guys, but i'm pretty sure we're all thinkin' pretty much the same thing.
i mean, n-not to say everyone's the same but my thoughts are incredibly generic. and if everyone can hear them, they'd probably just be bored to death. so i don't think that's too bad! i got nothin' to hide to my bros! it'll be okay. oh god. "you have a beautiful girlfriend/boyfriend, but every time you sleep together, they shart on your face."
*while laughing* why?! is it intentional? can i talk to them about it? is it like a sleepwalking thing except they're sleepsharting? and it just happens to be on my face? i mean, you'd think we would discuss this a little bit but apparently not, so. i don't know. i r- i- no. y- n- no. you know what? nah- m-
i'm gonna go with no. " you can instantly play any string instrument without having to even study it, *while laughing* but you orgasm with every strum of a note?" that's incredible! that would be an amazing power! you just start out with a solo jam and *starts laughing* get the best time of your life. oh god, nevermind. i'll press it. i'll bear this burden, everybody. i'll take this one for the team.
"you can eat anything you want without putting on weight, but you have to take suppositories the size of peanuts every morning." are we taking the size of just, you know, a normal peanut? i mean, i'm already trying to justify this, because it doesn't seem like too much of a trade off. unless i was trying to be a bodybuilder, and i'm not saying i'm trying to be a bodybuilder but if i wanted to put on muscle weight, then this seems kind of like a problem. but it says i have to take suppositories to make it not happen, so i imagine...
that if i didn't take the suppositories, i could gain weight if i wanted to. this seems like a pretty good deal. and maybe in the future of medical science, this is actually how it's gonna be done. yeah, i'll press it. why not? "you become famous and everybody likes you, but you must kill five of your fans of your choice everyday. everyone still likes you and the killing of those 5 fans does not affect you at all (except maybe mentally.)" i don't think the price of fame is worth killing five of my fans. unless they're all like,
very happily- it's like a horrifying cult where, let's just take for example, you guys. if you guys lined up, outside my door, in sacrificial robes, like: "pleeaasee, markiplier, sacrifice me-" nooo... oh, god no.
i'm not even theorizing this anymore, that's horrible. it- horrible. horrible. "you will never have to sleep again, but you have to run 10 miles every morning." now that doesn't seem like too much of a trade off. you gain 8 hours a day, and all you have to do is run 10 mi- you would get in great shape. you would get in incredible shape.
and you'd have so much more time. you would never have to sleep! that's awesome! unless it's not awesome. nah, it's awesome! i'll press that, screw that. i'll press it. oh. this one is strangely pertinent. "your friend will be pewdiepie, but you will learn from pewdiepie a lot of being a youtuber."
wow! (sarcastically) it's almost like that actually happened in my life. huh! it's just a bizarre conundrum! oh, i guess i'll pre- uh wha- who- who-who'd know? "you gain either fire bending, water bending, earth bending, or air bending, but everyone hates you." i... am not an expert on 'avatar' or 'the legend of korra,'
so this one doesn't quite fall within my... category of nerdism, which is a large category, admittedly, but i'll leave this one up to you, for those fans of the shows out there. would you... be willing, to be able to do one of these random things, i suppose it's random, but have everyone suddenly hate you?
probably because you're so cool and able to do these magical things. so i'll leave that one up to you, lemme know in the comments below. it'll be right along side all of the... *chuckles* very dirty comments but it'll be cool nonetheless. can't wait to see your answers. thank you, everybody, so much for watching! and as always, i will see you... in the next video!
buh-bye! *outro playing: 'crazy la paint'* (markimoo plays string instrument with his new power)
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