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"well, fuck." ok, i get that cypher raige can ghost, but do not think it would'veworked better for his fearlessness to be a talent that he had, not an unchangeable disability? you know, it could be like a form of meditation. so that whenthe character's not in combat, he could still show emotion. they're right in the middle of a deadlyasteroid storm, and he's like "i'm bored." [clip] everybody left their seats, to donothing. where the fuck is everybody going? - how are they going to prepare for an asteroid, fucking, like, attack?- you get out your cutlasses and you get ready. - get out your cutlasses and rope?- you have to fight them with the swords. [yms] he tells them to wormhole travel tothe closest planet, so that they can escape.

they escape the asteroids, but the ship took a lot of damage.so in the future, it looks like oxygen masks are cordless. and there's just one guy with a bag of them passing them out.so the life suit is kept behind the chair, but not the oxygen masks. so like, if that guy gets knocked out during an emergency,nobody gets to breathe. but hey, at least you got your life suit. "excuse me while i cover up this leak with some paper." so the ship is now fucked, and they need to land on a nearby planet.will smith then notices a very slowly blinking light and then presses it. - [clip] warning.- [yms] ok, so that was a button. [clip] this planet has been placed under class one quarantine by the interplanetary authority. [yms] that seems like kind of an importantthing to know before you land there, so why would you design the incomingemergency message function like that?

there's no beeping noise to get your attention or anything?"nah, that would be a slight annoyance to the pilots, and their comfort is far more important thanthe lives of every single person on board." - will smith says they need to land somewhere else.- [clip] this ship is gonna tear apart at any moment. [yms] the ship's gonna tear apart? and here i thought you needed to land because youwere at risk of drifting in space forever with no engines. i don't understand why would tear apart at any moment.why exactly is the ship going to tear apart at any moment? i mean, you escaped the asteroid storm, and i get that spaceis a vacuum that exerting some sort of force on your ship, but considering the ship has not torn apart, what exactlyleads you to the conclusion that it will at any moment? whatever. it's because of that that they need to land on the planet.

so cypher raige goes back to where kitai is. dang, he'slucky that the cordless oxygen mask person was right there. this is a really shitty system. anyway, he tries to calmkitai down to stop him from fucking hyperventilating. why is kitai the only one strapped in?where the fuck is everybody else? apparently these chairs are for sleeping only,and not to be used for any sort of emergency. cypher raige manages to make it all the way back to his seat, andwhat? everybody else is just running around fixing holes with paper? what could you possibly be doing that's more importantthan strapping in before a fucking crash landing? "oh, fuck! it looks like i should have strapped in." what the fuck! so when i first saw the movie, i assumed that one of the peoplethat was now flying out in that direction was cypher raige.

but that is not the case, because he did not only survive,but after the crash he is found still inside the ship. what. the. fuck? so where did these other people come from if they didn't getsucked out in the same direction as will smith in the first place? [clip] ok, so there's a minor breach in the far cam... like, awayfrom the camera, further past those guys. a small breach. k? so then, low pressure and the air goesout that way, will smith gets sucked out. - (adam) but we don't see it.- but he doesn't feel fear. he's... he can ghost. - it's just off camera though.- because he can ghost, he's able to grab on. he grabs on to ledge, and a door closes aroundhim, cuz it knows he's in there, and the ship is smart. then, there's another bigger breach on the cameraside from jaden smith. they actually show that breach.

and that's when people start flying out the ship. - it's what, breach two? doors opening.- doors? what doors? the doors are offscreen. that's why they didn't die from the first breach. they would have gotten sucked out of the ship with will smith. but... no, wait, the, the breach, where? so, was the,the first explosion on the other side of the door? the ship has a hallway going alongside, andthen there's doors into this inner compartment. - the inner compartment stays still.- it's completely separate. yeah, it's separate, but it stays sealed the time. thepeople, most of the people are inside of that compartment. now the breach happens, and the only two peoplein the hallway area are jaden and will smith. jaden smith is strapped in, so he's safe, but willsmith is, like, "aw, fuck!" and he goes the other way.

why did the other people not get sucked,er, the same way that will smith did? - they're closed off, they're separate. the door is closed.- what? - but they heard something happen, cuz they...- and then they came out of the door! they heard of something, and they were like, "oh, shit!" and then as soon as the second explosion happened, theycame out to see what happened, and it didn't work out for them. they made some bad choices. so will smith got sucked into a differentpart of the ship, but not out of the ship? by not buckling himself into a seat belt, he saved his own life. but not really, cuz he would have been equally as safe or safer ifhe buckled himself. but wouldn't have been able to be a badass.

alternative, more elegant solution: the breach is small on the otherside of the ship, but it still creates a significant amount of flow. - will smith...- did not fit through the hole? he grabs onto the edge of the hole, andseals it, so that nobody else can fall out. when the other hell, hole, br-break, all thepeople in the room flow out the back side, out of the hole that will smith can't block,but will smith holds on, and he survives. or, because he's, maybe because he's blocking that one hole,and one hole's on one side and the other hole's on the other side, it cancels itself out, and he doesn't get suckedout either side, cuz he's in between both holes. - i guess he is being sucked out by that.- by both at the same time, and therefore not at all. he finds himself in an equilibrium.

[yms] ok, so i get that it might've cost a bit moremoney to animate the ship actually crashing, but that's the best sound effect the you can fucking comeup with? i'm sure that's exactly what it would sound like. so kitai wakes up after the crash, he takes off his oxygen mask like afucking idiot, and then put it back on when he realizes he can't breathe. it looks like there's a special security featureon the ship designed for when it crashes. it's trying to sell itself off so it can regulateoxygen within its own atmosphere, but there's a body in the way and it justkeeps going back up and trying again. so instead of putting in the effort to drag him ontothe ship in the hopes that he could maybe be saved, he just pushes him outside, and wouldn't you know it? nowit's sealed, and oxygen can regulate within the ship. yay! but can someone tell me what the fuck is the point in designingit so that it can form its shape around objects that are in the way,

if it's just going to go back up because something's in the way? you'dthink that that's the reason why they designed it to shape like that. theoretically, if it just stopped when it was downand didn't go back up, it would still be sealed. "nope, something's on the way. sorry, no breathing for you." he finds his dad, and he's more bored than ever. they then realizethat they're literally the only ones on the entire fucking ship to survive. are safety drills even a thing in the future, or what? he tells kitai where to find the emergency beacon in the cockpit, andeven though it was where he was suppose to find it, it's badly damaged. apparently, the place they keep it doesn'tdo a very good job at keeping it safe. he helps his dad onto... this thing. cypher decidesto update the mission log with their failure. and it seems like kitai is now hooked on pushing over dead bodies.

i love how effortlessly he did that. "yeah, i'm justgonna push this body over here with my one arm." and his other hand's like, "yeah, i'm gonna help! no, no i'm not."was his dead body in a seated position? why did you do this? cypher explains that they can't use the distressbeacon because it's too badly damaged, but there is an extra one in the tail section of the ship,which just happens to be over a hundred kilometers away. - "well, whatever. you're experienced dad, you can go get it, right?"- [clip] both my legs are broken. one very badly. [yms] "well, fuck!" not only are both his legs broken,but one of them very badly. the other one, not so much. so cypher gives kitai a rundown of whathe's going to need to do to save the day. [clip] you have air filtration inhalers: the fluid willcoat your lungs, increasing your oxygen extraction. the atmosphere has changed. i understand people can't breathanymore. so they have to kind of eat these oreo cookies.

hah! yeah, there's, they're air. they're kinda likeinhalers, and you have to, you have like [breaths in] and it coats your, it coats your lungs, soyou can extract more oxygen from it. [yms] ok, now he has something that he can bringwith him so he can breathe in the environment... wait. i thought that the oxygen mask he had earlier was cordless. like, obviously it's future science, but what about it makes it so thatit can work inside the ship, but supposedly not work outside the ship, you'd think that kitai would ask these questions, but no, itseems like the script literally forgot that these things existed. or maybe in the script they were just written as oxygen masks,but then somewhere down the line in the design process, someone thought, "hey, wouldn't it be cool if theoxygen masks were cordless, cuz it's the future?" and just nobody realized that that would clash with kitaineeding to take these fucking things every 20 to 24 hours.

well, i guess if he could just carry around that oxygen maskeverywhere, then he wouldn't be in as much danger. ha! [clip] i will be able to see everythingthat you see, and what you do not see. [yms] ok, so kitai doesn't have that much to worry about, cuzhe's got the biggest badass in the galaxy looking out for him. [clip] this is a class one quarantined planet.everything on this planet has evolved to kill humans. [yms] "everything on this planet is evolved to kill humans."as in, within the 1,000 years that humans weren't there? not only would the course of evolution overonly 1,000 years not even really matter, but how would creatures in the environmentevolve to kill a species that's absent from it? like, you understand that evolution is just natural selection,right? so how would the ability to kill humans specifically be enough of a biological benefit that membersof the same species wouldn't pass on their genes?

because that's really the only way thatsomething can be "evolved to kill humans", otherwise there's no reason why those genetictraits would become dominant in the species. unless by "evolved to kill humans", hejust means "evolved to kill most things". the most rational explanation as to how this could be possible, is to assume that the supposed evolution thattook place was entirely before humans even left, which really makes you question why theywouldn't mention that at all in the beginning. like, you wouldn't have even had to add any extra dialogue. just replace some of the stock footage with humans beingkilled by some of the creatures before they evacuate. literally all the visuals you showed for reasons why humans left earth consist of fossil fuel burning, industrialization and natural disasters.

so either these creatures that evolved to kill humans were part ofthe reason why we left and they just didn't show or mention anything, or the creatures that remained on earth evolved to kill a speciesthat was completely absent over the course of a thousand years. fucking genius! [clip] started off looking at it as science fiction, um, but we weresurprised to see how, er, it's moving away from science fiction, and this possibility is, er, more legitimate science. do you know where we are? no, sir. - this is earth- [yms] "urth!" so the part of the ship he is headed towardsis the part of ship that kept the "urrh-sa",

and neither of them are certain as to whether or not it escaped. but will smith reassures them that he'll bekeeping an eye out using the video feed. oh, i get it. so if he doesn't learn how to ghost by theend of the movie, then he'll become a real ghost. "i'm still bored" so now kitai's adventure starts. - [clip] take a knee. root yourself in this present moment, now.- [yms] "are you, like, my spiritual adviser or something?" - [clip] what do you feel?- my body feels heavier. [yms] he explains that the gravitational pull on "urth" is differentthan at home; in the very next shot, he's climbing up a fucking cliff. he makes it to the top and, yay! everything'sso pretty. motherfuckin' birds and shit.

cypher sends out a bunch of dronesso he can see the area better. man, just look at all those drones. if onlyone of them had a tiny extendable arm so that it could go to the beacon and set it off, andnot have to risk your son's life. thanks obama! he explains that most of the planet freezes over at night, so he should find one of the several hot spotseach evening so he doesn't freeze to death. cypher get some painkillers for his broken leg. you know, just because the futurehas improved hologram technology, doesn't mean that companies wouldn't find it more cost effectiveor efficient to actually just print the fucking thing on the label. that case is clearly designed to hold those painkillers,but it has to look pretty, or else it won't work.

like, couldn't every argument as towhy there should be holograms there also apply to just why there shouldbe an led screen or something? are holograms now cheaper than leds? [clip] the other thing i thought was really interesting wasthe user interface, the, um, th-the holographic imagery, and, and, and, and all the controls were actually very, er, futuristic and, and i think that... that in, it, they'll stand the test of time. they did such a good job with that, that, you know,ten, twenty years hence, it'll still look futuristic. [yms] whatever, let's just assume that it's more practical andcost-effective to install holograms on every single container. he is now conflicted with the fact that it willimpair his abilities to look out for his son.

then we got a great flashback featuringhim on a video call with his daughter. [clip] a boy i know had this. - mm.- [yms] put down the book, he's gonna die of boredom. - [clip] it's a real book, from a museum. it's moby dick.- [yms] "great, it's moby dick, who gives a shit? it's not like i could've figured that out with youholding the title in front of the fucking camera." [clip] - he said i could even hold onto it.- hold on to what? - the book, dad.- [yms] it disturbs me to think of what was going through his mind when he was confused about whatthe boy was letting her hold onto. "just try to forget that i said that." he's sobored, he's just looking into the distance.

"just please fucking hang up. you're so annoying.i wish an 'urrh-sa' would come and kill you." and what the fuck is with those guys in thebackground? they are completely fucking still. when i first saw the beginning of this scene, i thought that he might have been in some kind ofcomputerized training program that allowed him to pause, but they can see this guy kinda cough, so i have no idea whatthe fuck it was going for, but it's really awkward either way. so the flashback ends, and he decides thathe's not gonna drug himself up just yet. not even sure why that flashback happened in thefirst place. i mean, did that influence his decision? he's like, "i'd better save my son, at least he's not as boring as her." did the audience need to be remindedof the fact that he loves his family?

because of how emotionless he's been throughout the entire movie. i wonder if they had to sand that log downor something so he didn't get splinters. - hey, a hyena! ok, so you're actively looking for the "urrh-sa"- [clip] where are you? [yms] but you haven't sent a drone to, like, thecrash site yet? like, you know exactly where it is, cuz you've just sent your son on a mission to go there, but youdon't consider that to be the first place you should send a drone? you know, inspect the crash site, andsee if the "urrh-sa" has even escaped. i guess maybe if he could feel fear, thenhe'd start worrying about consequences. - kitai walks around for a bit, and all of a sudden, his suit changes color.- [clip] my suit's turned black; i like it, but i think it's something bad. i'm tracking a lifeform moving towards you from the west.

it is right there, kitai. recognize your power, this will be your creation. kitai! [yms] ok, i don't subscribe to the idea that you shouldlisten to your parents, regardless of what they say, but you are literally ignoring the advice of the sole personresponsible for saving humanity from fucking extinction. this guy knows his shit better than any fucking person on the planet, which isn't saying much, because theonly other person on the planet is you, but jesus christ, just fucking listen to him. he's trying to save your ass. ok, so now all these other ones are just popping up on the radar,like there were all completely motionless before for some reason.

were they just chillin' out? maxin'? relaxin'? all cool? [silly scream] ok, so there's little shit isn'tgoing to listen, so he's just gonna run. does nobody fucking hate it in chase scenes when the thingthat's chasing the main character is clearly faster than them, but every time it comes to a new shot it's likethey him a fucking ten second head start? fucking hardcore! ♪ "let me hit it" - audiostalkers ♪ he manages to make it to the water and escape. "uuaow!" [clip] put my damn cutlass away, youare not being followed. take a knee.

if you want die today, that is fine, but you are not going to kill me. you are going to have to administer the anti-toxin in sequence. [slow motion grunting] - i can't do this by myself, dad. please come get me.- [yms] "yeah, please come get me." [clip] kitai, inject yourself directly into your heart. - i can't feel my hand. dad, i can't feel my hand!- press it into the ground. - [yms] oh, shit! this is gonna be awesome.- [clip] roll over on it, and press it into the ground, kitai. [yms] ha, hahaha! hahaha! "ooh, dad!" oh, it's too good. "i'm still bored"

so after having passed out for the second time today, he's awokenby his father saying that he needs to get the fuck outta there. [clip] the temperature is dropping five degrees every ten minutes. - you have 9.7 kilometers to the hot spot.- [yms] so kitai runs along. [clip] who wants to be a ranger? whowants it? watch him go. watch him go. [yms] and cypher raige gives himself a shunt.and then as another flashback with senshi. - come on, dad. blow.- nah, you know there's no way i can actually do that from here. - hmm. no, i think you can- [yms] it's crazy to think that this was supposed to be heartfelt. he seriously felt as if he needed to remind her thatyou can't blow out candles through a video feed. or maybe it was not directed at herand more directed at the audience,

but wasn't it the most fucking obvious thing in the worldthat someone else was going to blow it out for him? he was so bored, he forgot his son existed. so kitai makes it to the hot spot, and is told to use one morethe oxygen things, but uh-oh! it looks like two of them broke. that outta add some conflict. why the container specificallydesigned to hold them is so bad at doing its job, i don't know. those creases in the fabric would imply that it's made out ofsome solid material. i have no fucking clue why they broke. "but now the movie's more intense!" [sigh] - kitai decides to lie to his dad- [clip] count off remaining. - four vials remain, sir.- repeat. [yms] ok, so you see his heart rate go up,and you're clearly suspicious that he's lying.

[clip] four vials remain, sir. [yms] i thought you had cameraseverywhere that could see everything? and even if there are no drones nearby, there'ssupposed to be cameras on his fucking suit. [clip] i will be able to see everything you see, and what you do not see. [yms] and even if the cameras couldn't look inwards, youcould probably noticed that he dropped them on the ground. or maybe he just knows that he's lying, because he knowseverything, and he doesn't really need to check the cameras. so now it's raining. what?! i thought that ifthe surface was mostly frozen at nighttime, that would also mean that the atmosphere abovethe surface would also be very cold, or colder. it was my assumption that hot spots were onlyhot because of something below the surface.

but apparently it's the cold spots. because why thefuck would it be raining instead of snowing? whatever. it sets the tone perfectly for this wonderful monologue. kitai asks his dad to tell the story of the first time he ever ghosted, and it feels as though we're supposed to feel some sort of emotion,despite the fact that the character's delivering the lines with no emotion. dude, he's just bored. he just wants to go home. [clip] i could see my blood bubbling up, mixing withthe sunlight, and i think, "wow... that's really pretty." [yms] what? [clip] i see his pincer through my shoulder. andi decide, i don't want that in there anymore. [laughter]

danger, is very real. but fear is a choice. [yms] well, fear is also a biological response to help you survive, but i guess it's convenient for you that youlive in a world where fear is a bad thing. convenient for you, not so convenient for the audience. - [clip] it can't find me.- [yms] oh, so as soon as you're not scared, then you become invisible. it's got a highly evolved sense of smellthat can detect your fucking pheromones, but the instant you stop secreting those very specificpheromones, it's unable to smell any part of you whatsoever. like, didn't you say you had an open woundin that story? it couldn't smell your blood? everything in this movie was so bad, that itdistracted me from his horrendous facial hair.

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